Wherever you go, I go!

It has been a little over a year and half since we came home from China with our baby girl, Charlotte.  It has been a crazy ride at times during these past 18 months, BUT, we have seen Charlotte grow and change and become much more secure.  It has been amazing to watch this growth in her!  The very scared little girl that we brought home has become a talkative, sassy and confident little princess!

She is a total girly girl!  Her favorite color is PINK (of course!) and she is very opinionated about what she wants to wear!  She has an attitude, is very stubborn and determined and we wouldn't want her any other way!  She needs that personality to be able to handle her 3 older brothers! :)  

 Our little diva!

The little girl who wouldn't go to bed without food or a cracker in her hand, now knows that she will never go to bed hungry again. The little girl who was constantly worried that I would leave her, now knows that I am never leaving her.  I told her one day a few months ago that "Wherever you go, I go and wherever I go, you go!" and it really stuck with her.  Now we repeat that to each other whenever she has any anxiety about mama leaving her. 

She walks around with a confidence these days and is constantly singing all day long.  "Jesus Loves Me" is one of her favorite songs and below is a video of her singing it.  She is still fairly shy in front of people she doesn't know so, not many people get to see this spunky side of her.  

Lately, she and I have had many good talks about her being adopted and being from China.  Now, when its just the two of us, she will say "Mama, let's talk about China" with a sweet little smile on her face.  She loves to hear about us getting on an airplane to go to China and about us meeting her and her crying and being scared of her Baba.  She laughs now when I tell her that...she ADORES her Baba!  

I'm not sure if she remembers our time in China or, just remembers me telling her about it.  But, I asked her recently what I had given her when she came into our room to meet us and she responded that I had given her a sucker.  So, maybe she does remember some.  We talk about "China mama" (her foster mother) and how she loved her until mommy and daddy could get there and sometimes she asks to see a picture of China mama.  

In the past, when we would talk about China, I noticed that the next few days she would be clingy and insecure, as if remembering her time in China all over again, each time we talked about it together.  The last couple of months that has not happened and I am thankful.  I want her to always know that she is adopted and about China and for that to never scare or shock her.  And even more importantly that she knows that God has always loved her and always will...and I think she knows both now!  PRAISE THE LORD!

At church I taught her & the other kids in my class to say "God Loves Me" in sign language.  A few days ago I saw her saying and signing it for the first time, all by herself, without any prompting.  She had no idea that I was watching, but, it was the sweetest thing I had ever seen!  To see our little girl, that came from half way around the world to join our family, understand about the love of our Lord...well it was some thing I had always dreamed she would understand.  

 Charlotte (3 1/2) and Ben (8) at Kentucky Lake

We are at a good place but, it has taken us a year and half to get here.  We have loved her all along but, now she finally "gets it" and knows we aren't going anywhere.  She is such a joy to us and her brothers and honestly, anyone that meets her.  She is our little walking and talking advocate for adoption!  Which is ironic because when we started contemplating adopting I always thought I wanted a child that "looked like us" because, I thought it would be easier on the child.

God really convicted me of that one day in Target of all places!  I was sitting at the snack bar when in walked a beautiful little family with 3 little boys who were obviously very Caucasian and 1 little girl who was obviously very Asian.  God convicted me right then and there that why wouldn't I want to have my child not look like me??  Everyone that looks at our family, probably knows that Charlotte is adopted but, God showed me that it could be a very positive thing!  We have seen that to be true as it has prompted many conversations with complete strangers.  Yes, she IS a walking, talking advocate for adoption and we couldn't be prouder of her and that she doesn't look like us is an unexpected blessing.

So what is in store for Miss Charlotte next?  She needs another surgery next spring.  :( Her doctor at Vanderbilt will take some cartilage out of her ribs and use it to do a graft in her nose.  Because she is missing cartilage in one side of her nose, it makes it difficult for her to breath out of that side of her nose.  It is a big surgery and I don't look forward to it.  Our doctor said to plan on her being in the hospital a week, so, we want to plan it while the boys are still in school to make things easier.  After this surgery, she probably won't have another surgery until she is around age 10 or 12 for her bone graft.  YIPPEE!   It is hard to see her go through these surgeries, these dental procedures and everything she has had to go through but, I quickly remind myself that God made her and this is the hand she was dealt.  It isn't suppose to be easy to see your child suffer...it wasn't for God to see Jesus suffer!  We just have to go through it with her and love her through it...and that's an easy job!

Her cleft lip & palate is something I totally forget about at times, especially in between doctor appointments. She may have been labeled "special needs" in China but, she certainly isn't to us at all.  She has never had to have any speech therapy and overall has been very lucky/blessed when it comes to her cleft surgeries.  I would not hesitate to adopt another child with cleft lip/palate! I shudder to think about the blessings we would have missed if we had let the fear of the unknown and her special need keep us from taking the adoption leap of faith.  It is a leap of faith and it is scary but, anything worth having usually is. God orchestrated us being matched with the perfect child for our family and for that I will always be in awe.

                                                           

Charlotte and Hen-wee (Henry) her best fwend! (friend)

I had always heard that a child needs to home as long as they were in an orphanage or a foster family in order to feel really secure.  I am finding that true.  Every single day I see that she is just blossoming and becoming more and more secure. We have very little insecurities we are dealing with now, except the anxiety of going to the dentist which is normal for all she has been through.

So, even though we don't believe we will be adopting again, sadly mainly because of the cost.  We do know that if God convicts us to adopt again, He will provide and we will be obedient.  For now, we are loving our 4 little blessings and I try to evaluate every day what we are doing to make this world a better place for someone else and what more can I do?  I ask you to do the same...What are you doing for someone else who is less fortunate?  I will always have a heart for orphans in China & will constantly be praying & doing all I can for them half way across the world. I think I left part of my heart in China and, I will never be the same after having been there.  I look forward to the day I can return there with Charlotte & we can make a difference together there...one day!

 In the meantime, every night I get to hear "Mommy?  You know what? I love you!"    I am SO BLESSED!

 

P.S.  I plan on taking the time to update my blog more often so, stayed tuned!

Recent Photos

Surgery

Well we arrived at the hospital around 10 a.m. and we were exhausted.  Charlotte decided to cut a molar the night before her surgery and was up from 1:30 a.m..  It was THE WORST nights sleep we have had since having her...we could tell it was hurting her but, because of her having surgery we
couldn't even give her tylenol or advil. :(  Poor baby!

Waiting to be called back to pre-op.

They took us back and we got her in her hospital pajamas and we waited.  They were at first reluctant to give us the "silly juice" saying they try not to use it if they don't have to.  Once the anethesiologist came in to talk to us, he realized he wasn't going to get her away from us easily so, he actually suggested we use the "silly juice"...I was so relieved!  We gave it to her and waited....

She got those cute little yellow pajamas on.

About 15 minutes later they came to the door and asked if we thought she was ready.  I gave them her little doll (the little doll you sent her Amber! :))  and she wanted it, so, she reluctantly reached for it and the nurse quickly took her in her arms.  She started saying "Mama, mama, I want mama!"  over and over again.  I kept hearing that phrase repeated until she & the nurse were out of sight. :(  So, the "silly juice" didn't work as well as I had hoped.  The nurses did say because of the silly juice though, that she would have no memory of leaving me.

They had told us the surgery would last an hour.  After about an hour though, we got a call from the operating room that they had just finished removing the cutis aplaysia and were now getting started on her lip.  About an hour later, they called to say they were still working on her lip and not to worry, that Dr. Kelly is a perfectionist and likes to take his time.  After about 2 1/2 hours, I was starting to freak out a bit.  FINALLY, after 3 hours, they called to say they were done and that the doctor would be out to talk to us soon.

He said the surgery went well.  They had removed some tissue when they had done her lip repair in China so he ended up doing more than he had originally intended to repair her lip.  She also had what he called "track marks" on her upper lip.  He removed them and made the middle part of her lip not as wide which he thinks will look better.

About 30-45 minutes later we were called back to see her in recovery.  We had asked beforehand to go back as soon as we could, because we didn't want her to have any anxiety about not seeing us when she woke up.  Thankfully, we got back there before she even woke up.  She was in the little crib and just laying there sound asleep. I picked her up and started rocking her.  I rocked her about an hour before she really woke up and she was not really agitated at all...just out of sorts.  I was so thankful for that!

 

 

We were able to come home that day because, she had done so good and because she didn't get naseous after the surgery.  If she had, we would have had to stay the night in the hospital but, she was the best patient ever!  The nurses said Dr. Kelly NEVER lets anyone go home the same day. :)

Since coming home she has been VERY demanding and GROUCHY but, who wouldn't be given all she has been through this week?  We go back Monday to get any stitches out that have not dissolved.
She is still very restless and demanding but, we are weaning her off of the pain meds and replacing it with advil and she seems more like herself, so that is good.  She will have to wear the no no's for 3 weeks and soft foods for 3 weeks as well.  Surprisingly, neither have been as big of a deal with her as I had imagined.  They had the no no's on her before we even got back in recovery.  She asked to take them off twice the first day and we just said no and distracted her.  So far, she is loving her jello, soup & pudding diet too. :) 

Thank you so much for praying for her!  Please continue to pray for her in the coming weeks...that she continues to be such a good patient and that we can keep her from falling or hurting her lip while it is healing.

Love,

Surgery tomorrow

Tomorrow Charlotte will have surgery to remove the cutis aplaysia on the back of her head & a lip revision at Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital in Nashville.  Her surgeon Dr Kelly, is an awesome surgeon but, I have mixed feelings about the surgery.  I hate to put her through this...she is so confident and happy right now and I look at her and think "oh I can't do this!"  I think her lip looks great and I hesitate to put her through that part of the surgery but, he knows how her lip will look in the long run and this is his specialty and ultimately I just have to trust him.

When we saw him back in December 2011, when we had first gotten home with her,  he told us we would need to do surgery to remove her actutis aplaysia but, we decided to wait & see until now to combine the 2 surgeries.

What is cutis aplaysia? 
http://rarediseases.info.nih.gov/GARD/Disease.aspx?PageID=4&diseaseID=5835

Her surgery is scheduled for noon tomorrow and we expect it to be outpatient surgery.  She will have to wear arm no no's and have liquids & soft foods for 3 weeks.  When she first came home, she had alot of anxiety about food. So one of my worries is that this will set us back to having some of those issues.  Also the no no's are NOT going to be fun for our opinionated & strong willed girl.

So, please keep us all in your prayers tomorrow.

Prayer needs:
1) That Charlotte goes to sleep easily with the "silly juice" & then that we are able to hand her over to the doctors so that she won't have as much anxiety.
2) That pain management would be good.
3) That the surgeon would have a clear mind and be able to focus on her surgery to give her the best possible outcome & surgery possible.
4) That there would be no complications during surgery or after....and no excessive bleeding.
5) That Jason & I would have peace about the surgery and can comfort her quickly after surgery.


Now onto some GREAT news...we are also taking our friends Stacey & Chris Daniels to the Nashville International Airport TOMORROW.  They are finally on their way to get their baby girl, Airlie who is 3 years old in China.  I am SO EXCITED for them and we cannot wait to meet Miss Airlie.  Airlie is 5 months older than Charlotte & we think they are going to be fast friends. Helping them get ready for their trip has really kept my mind off of Charlottes surgery and their family has already been such a blessing to our family.  So, please join me in praying for them on their adoption journey... below is a link to their adoption blog.

http://www.awaitingairlie.blogspot.com/


Sincerely,

A package all the way from China

We received a package from Charlottes foster family in China this week! :)  I knew it was coming but, honestly I wasn't sure if it would make it here, given the inpredictable mail in China. Plus they had said it could take up to 3 months to arrive.  I was so excited to open it.  They had sent some of her favorite clothing, some of which were cute split pants. :)  They included some of her favorite snacks-strawberry cakes and 2 cute stuffed animals. One of the animals is from a popular China cartoon named "The Pleasant Goat" and the pink bunny we had sent her in a care package back in April of 2011.  We have several photos of her with it so, this is very special and we are very thankful that sent it to us.  She hugged them tight after we opened the package. :)

 

What was one of my favorite things in the box?  The photo below.  I had been told that her foster family is so poor that they didn't have a camera so, they had no photos of Charlotte besides the ones I had sent.  This photo means the world to me..just to have a photo with the 2 of them together. :) And the phot album Charlotte is holding in her hand in the photo, is a photo album we sent her back in April 2011 along with the bunny.  To be able to see this woman holding our girl.  This woman in rural China, who didn't have much, had given SO MUCH of herself to a little girl who had no one and would one day become our daughter....well the photo just brought me to tears.  I will never be able to portray in words just how thankful I am for her.  One day I hope to be able to tell her in person just how thankful I am for her. 

I thought I had gone through everything in the box but, then I found a disc so I put it into my computer.  There were 75 photos of her foster mom & brother AND a 6 minute video of them talking to us & Charlotte. I had no idea we would ever get a video.  This was the most emotional part for me.  I won't post it here because I want it to be special for Charlotte and it has some very personal information for Charlotte to hear one day.  But, her foster brother was so cute and positive and her foster mom too.  She broke down in one part of the video and went on to explain that she loved and missed Xia Xia very much but, that she was so thankful to Xia Xia's Mama and Baba and that she would love to meet us one day. It was so obvious that she was very loved!  And I pray we can save our money and take Charlotte back in the next several years.  Something I wouldn't have thought we would be doing so soon but, I want us to go back within the next 5 years, if at all possible, so, we can meet and talk with them.  Shoot, if I was a millionaire I would go back next month! :)  But God's timing is perfect. 

Miss Charlotte is doing so good these days.  She used to be right.by.my.side. like ALL OF THE TIME!  She still is most of the time BUT, she has started going to her brothers rooms to play with them and not having to be with me everywhere.  This is big for her. 

Charlotte with her Ge Ge's...she has on her "Made in China" shirt! too cute!

We had a sweet friend of ours take some professional photos of Charlotte

and I think they turned out beautiful and that she captured her personality so well. 

This is a photo of Charlotte in her baby dedication outfit.  It looked so beautiful on her. 

She also took a great photo of the kids together.  Will 14, Drew 11, Ben 8 & Charlotte 2

We've bene blessed with some wonderful friends that have also adopted from China.  Vicki & her husband, Roger live in Benton, Kentucky (about 45 minutes from us) and they have 3 grown sons and adopted Molly Kate in 2011 & just got home with Callie Beth.  We really enjoy getting the girls together as they are are just a few months apart in age and they LOVE each other.  So thankful for their friendship!

Callie Beth, Charlotte & Molly Kate

Things I want to remember:

-Charlottes English has really come a long way..  I think she is probably not far behind kids her age that have spoken English since birth yet, she still holds on to some of her Mandarin.  Of course there are just a few words I for sure recognize..Nay Nay (Grandma), Mei Mei (little sister), Guo Guo (big brother) and one I haven't heard her use until just recently is Ni Hao (hello!)

-She has a love/hate relationship with Will. LOL!  They can pick on each other and then the next second they are so loving to each other.  A few nights recently she has wanted to sleep with him in his bed. She made this clear over and over again at bed time saying "I want Will!" )

-She and Ben are the most loving to each other.  I think because he more gentle with her, she is really affectionate with him and she definitely likes to be in the same room with her Ben at all times.

-She and Drew well...he picks on her and she does not like it and boy does she let him know. 

-She still ADORES her Baba and has figured out how to call him all by herself on my phone. LOL!

-Charlotte will say "bad Drew" or "bad Ben" when she gets mad at them. LOL!

-She calls her foster mom "mama China" right now. I started trying to get her to say "China mama" but she just keeps reversing it.  I think its cute!

-She is so outgoing.  My niece Laura was practicing for a pageant yesterday and after she got done, she asked if Charlotte wanted to practice.  She said "yes, but mama camera!"  She wanted to do it but, she wanted to make sure I would take a photo! LOL!  She pretended to walk out like Laura had but, she was waving and blowing kisses...it was so funny, yet cute! LOL!

Please pray for us this next week.  On Wednesday, Charlotte will have a lip revision surgery  & a surgery to remove the acutis aplaysia from the back of her head. I am nervous about the surgery and her recovery.  She will be on liquids, then soft foods for 3 weeks as well as having to wear her arm no no's.  This should be very intersting but, our girl is so strong and brave and I know God has been with her each step of the way.

Much Love,