A package all the way from China

We received a package from Charlottes foster family in China this week! :)  I knew it was coming but, honestly I wasn't sure if it would make it here, given the inpredictable mail in China. Plus they had said it could take up to 3 months to arrive.  I was so excited to open it.  They had sent some of her favorite clothing, some of which were cute split pants. :)  They included some of her favorite snacks-strawberry cakes and 2 cute stuffed animals. One of the animals is from a popular China cartoon named "The Pleasant Goat" and the pink bunny we had sent her in a care package back in April of 2011.  We have several photos of her with it so, this is very special and we are very thankful that sent it to us.  She hugged them tight after we opened the package. :)

 

What was one of my favorite things in the box?  The photo below.  I had been told that her foster family is so poor that they didn't have a camera so, they had no photos of Charlotte besides the ones I had sent.  This photo means the world to me..just to have a photo with the 2 of them together. :) And the phot album Charlotte is holding in her hand in the photo, is a photo album we sent her back in April 2011 along with the bunny.  To be able to see this woman holding our girl.  This woman in rural China, who didn't have much, had given SO MUCH of herself to a little girl who had no one and would one day become our daughter....well the photo just brought me to tears.  I will never be able to portray in words just how thankful I am for her.  One day I hope to be able to tell her in person just how thankful I am for her. 

I thought I had gone through everything in the box but, then I found a disc so I put it into my computer.  There were 75 photos of her foster mom & brother AND a 6 minute video of them talking to us & Charlotte. I had no idea we would ever get a video.  This was the most emotional part for me.  I won't post it here because I want it to be special for Charlotte and it has some very personal information for Charlotte to hear one day.  But, her foster brother was so cute and positive and her foster mom too.  She broke down in one part of the video and went on to explain that she loved and missed Xia Xia very much but, that she was so thankful to Xia Xia's Mama and Baba and that she would love to meet us one day. It was so obvious that she was very loved!  And I pray we can save our money and take Charlotte back in the next several years.  Something I wouldn't have thought we would be doing so soon but, I want us to go back within the next 5 years, if at all possible, so, we can meet and talk with them.  Shoot, if I was a millionaire I would go back next month! :)  But God's timing is perfect. 

Miss Charlotte is doing so good these days.  She used to be right.by.my.side. like ALL OF THE TIME!  She still is most of the time BUT, she has started going to her brothers rooms to play with them and not having to be with me everywhere.  This is big for her. 

Charlotte with her Ge Ge's...she has on her "Made in China" shirt! too cute!

We had a sweet friend of ours take some professional photos of Charlotte

and I think they turned out beautiful and that she captured her personality so well. 

This is a photo of Charlotte in her baby dedication outfit.  It looked so beautiful on her. 

She also took a great photo of the kids together.  Will 14, Drew 11, Ben 8 & Charlotte 2

We've bene blessed with some wonderful friends that have also adopted from China.  Vicki & her husband, Roger live in Benton, Kentucky (about 45 minutes from us) and they have 3 grown sons and adopted Molly Kate in 2011 & just got home with Callie Beth.  We really enjoy getting the girls together as they are are just a few months apart in age and they LOVE each other.  So thankful for their friendship!

Callie Beth, Charlotte & Molly Kate

Things I want to remember:

-Charlottes English has really come a long way..  I think she is probably not far behind kids her age that have spoken English since birth yet, she still holds on to some of her Mandarin.  Of course there are just a few words I for sure recognize..Nay Nay (Grandma), Mei Mei (little sister), Guo Guo (big brother) and one I haven't heard her use until just recently is Ni Hao (hello!)

-She has a love/hate relationship with Will. LOL!  They can pick on each other and then the next second they are so loving to each other.  A few nights recently she has wanted to sleep with him in his bed. She made this clear over and over again at bed time saying "I want Will!" )

-She and Ben are the most loving to each other.  I think because he more gentle with her, she is really affectionate with him and she definitely likes to be in the same room with her Ben at all times.

-She and Drew well...he picks on her and she does not like it and boy does she let him know. 

-She still ADORES her Baba and has figured out how to call him all by herself on my phone. LOL!

-Charlotte will say "bad Drew" or "bad Ben" when she gets mad at them. LOL!

-She calls her foster mom "mama China" right now. I started trying to get her to say "China mama" but she just keeps reversing it.  I think its cute!

-She is so outgoing.  My niece Laura was practicing for a pageant yesterday and after she got done, she asked if Charlotte wanted to practice.  She said "yes, but mama camera!"  She wanted to do it but, she wanted to make sure I would take a photo! LOL!  She pretended to walk out like Laura had but, she was waving and blowing kisses...it was so funny, yet cute! LOL!

Please pray for us this next week.  On Wednesday, Charlotte will have a lip revision surgery  & a surgery to remove the acutis aplaysia from the back of her head. I am nervous about the surgery and her recovery.  She will be on liquids, then soft foods for 3 weeks as well as having to wear her arm no no's.  This should be very intersting but, our girl is so strong and brave and I know God has been with her each step of the way.

Much Love, 

An unexpected blessing!

Charlotte has been home 7 months now and wow, how she has changed in just the last 2 months! 

-She is talking so well now!  Those that know me, know I tell my kids a 1,000 times a day that I love them...well, now she can clearly say "I love you too!" which is music to this mamas ears!
-She is potty trained again! YIPPEE! (she was potty trained when we got her but she regressed when we got home)
-She made her 1st trip to the ocean and she LOVED it!  She was just the right amount afraid of the ocean but, when we went out with her she was ok and she loved playing in the sand.
-She is counting to 5 with a show of her fingers.
-She can give high fives and fist bumps thanks to her brothers!
-She is becoming even more vocal about getting her way when the boys get on her nerves! :)
-She learned to sing "Happy Birthday" to me on my birthday all on her own and sings it to us quite often now. :)

Now onto some very exciting news...

Several months ago I was on the yahoogroup for the province our Charlotte is from.  There was a post saying that a family was taking their daughter back to China for a heritage tour and that the guide they had hired, wanted to see if other families might want her to help them while she was in Gansu province.  I immediately thought this would be an awesome opportunity for us to look for Charlotte's foster family.  My husband on the other hand was leary....He just wasn't sure he wanted to know.  I think it just scared him.  So, I emailed the guide to first of all, see if we could afford to do this and secondly, to see what the specifics would be.  The good news was that because 4 families were wanting her help we would all split the cost and our portion would only be a couple hundred dollars.  So reluctantly, hubby agreed we would see what information she could find.

I was really scared to be optimistic because, I didn't want to get disappointed.  I did send about 30 pictures of our family to the guide so she could share them with the foster family IF she was able to locate them.  The week before she was to leave for Wuwei,  she emailed me saying she might not be able to find out much info because the contact she had talked to several months agoe was not going to be there when she traveled. :( I put it out of my mind and figured we wouldn't find anything out.

Imagine my surprise, when I woke up to an email a week later, that said she had not only found Charlotte's foster family but, that she was sitting with them at that very moment!  She said our baby girl was LOVED! The worry you have before you travel of not knowing what your child has gone through and knowing our girl now, I just knew she had to be cherished by someone there. The email said "they gave me much more information than I expect. they love Xia Xia more than you can image. the foster mom cried a lot when she talked about your daughter, she is so sweet mom. Xia Xia is their favorite child." ;) Baby girl you ARE loved and you WERE LOVED all along! ;) ;)  What a gift to know this!

We have received 3 photos so far of the foster family.  Jason and I were very anxious to see how Charlotte would respond to seeing their photos.  That night, Jason and I sat on the couch with Charlotte in my lap and pulled up a photo of them on my computer.  I asked her "who is that?"  She got her shy/embarrassed look on her face and buried her head in my leg.  I kept asking her but, she would never respond.  She would just sit there looking at the photo with a shy smile on her face.  I finally said "Is that mama?"  She pointed to the photo and said "yes, mama!" She had this content smile on her face and it just made me happy to be able to put the pieces together for her.

I've had the chance to talk to Charlotte several times this week about seeing "China mama's" photo and a few times she has come to the computer and motioned that she wanted to see the photo.  :)  Being able to see a more complete picture of where she came from has been such an eye opener for me.  This family obviously loved/love her very much.  They are VERY VERY poor but, they were able to show our daughter love and what a family is when we couldn't.  Because they loved & cared for her, we have this amazing little girl in our family!  We will be forever grateful!

Foster mom crying when seeing Charlotte in the photos I had sent.

Foster mom & brother

I am so happy and thankful for this opportunity to give her as much history & info as we can about her time in China. I think this all happened at the perfect time for us as well....God's timing IS always perfect!  If we had found them earlier, I think it would have been harder for Charlotte to see their picture...but, at this point, she is bonded pretty well to us.  And if we had waited any longer, I am afraid Charlotte would not have had any recollection of them.

So what does this mean for us?  Well, we are doing our absolutely best to communicate frequently right now but, it is difficult.  They don't understand English and I don't understand Mandarin so every email has to be translated and that takes time.  Plus they are 14 hours ahead of us so, that makes things harder too.  They do not have a computer so, the emails go to their foster sons phone and during the week he is at school.  Please pray that our communication gets easier and that I am able to find someone long term that I can trust to translate their emails.

There is some information that was given to us through them, about Charlotte surgery that has me slightly worried.  In a recent email I had mentioned that she was getting ready to have a minor surgery on her lip.   This was their response through the guide... "by the way, since you mentioned Xia Xia is going to have another surgery on aug/08. Foster mom escorted xiaxia for her both surgery before. One surgery reall scared her--after surgery, Xia Xia was in big bleeding!! she also died with such bleeding. that is why they worry about her so much when you mentioned about another surgery." 

So I ask that you join me in praying for clarification on this soon..... and that God would keep the line of communication open between us and the foster family.  This has been such an unexpected blessing... connecting 2 families half way around the world, through our love for 1 little girl!

Love always,
Xia Xia's 2nd mama!

Things NOT to say to adoptive parents...

I thought it might be helpful to talk about some things that have bene said to us in the last 5 months, since bringing Charlotte home, that we felt were not handled in the best way.  These are things NOT to say to adoptive parents.  And the reason I bring them up, is to educate everyone on what IS appropriate to say and to ask.

1) "Wow, she doesn't look like you!  Does she look like her daddy?" 
Now clearly Charlotte IS adopted and this question totally caught me off guard.  I think the Walmart checker that asked this knew that Charlotte was adopted but, this was her way of verifying that.  Please, we would rather you just come on out and ask "Is your daughter adopted?"  Talking about adoption is something we talk about all of the time in front of her.

2) "Oh, she is so cute.....I want one of those!" Please do not refer to my child as an object to "get"....like you could "get" her at the store. There is SO MUCH to the adoption process and lots of paperwork...it is not a simple thing.

3) "Where'd you get 'er? An older man walked up to us in a restaurant and this was the first thing out of his mouth.  Now I understand wanting to know where she is adopted from but, this is NOT the way to ask it. I wanted to tell him the stork brought her, but I refrained. :) He went on to say "My cousin got one from Vietnam."  UGH!  I understand his intentions were probably nice so, I took it the way it was intended but, his wording was not the best.

4) "Wow, I would never take on anything like what you have in store with her teeth & cleft." REALLY?  That's ok...but to us, her dental work & cleft issues have been really minor and most of the time, we forget all about them.  She is not definded by them...she is just a precious child to love!

5) "She is just so blessed to be in America & have you as a family.." Yes she is...but, lets not forget this came with a price as well.  She left everyone and every thing she knew.  She left China not understanding English at all and that makes for a hard transition for any child. And, trust me, WE ARE THE BLESSED ONES....we get to love her. So try to understand that we believe we are both equally blessed....us to have her and her to have us.

I really don't think most of these people were meaning to be rude, they were probably just curious.  I don't want to discourage anyone from approaching adoptive families.  I simply want to educate on the best way to do that.  The nicest way I have been asked about Charlotte was when I was in a local restaurant.  An older lady approached me and said "Tell me about your beautiful daughter."  This opened the door in a positive way to tell her what I felt appropriate and then she could ask any questions. 

I love talking to people about Charlotte and about how we have been blessed through adoption so, I do not mind questions at all.  And if you know someone that is thinking about adoption, or has questions, please tell them to contact me.

How could we not be blessed, seeing this sweet smile every day?!?!

Happy 4 months home!

The last 4 months have been surreal.... Charlotte fit into our family so easily.  The biggest adjustment we have had to make is just going from a family of 5 to a family of 6.  Having a toddler at home again has been an adjustment for me.....definitely no "me time" at all these days.  BUT, oh what JOY this little girl has brought into our lives!  We love her so much!

She definitely had had some insecurities in the last 4 months but, I would say after about 2 1/2 -3 months we saw some big progress.  That is why we haven't done professional pictures of her until just recently.  We tried earlier and we were able to get a decent picture for the adoption announcement but it was HARD!  She was just still so insecure when going somewhere new & wanted me to hold her & not put her down.  The picture in the top right corner was taken of her while I was holding her & I was cropped out thankfully. :)

She is now talking in English and putting 4-5 words together sometimes and it amazes me...she uses her manners and says "thank you mommy" every single time she needs to (without being reminded at all) and that is something I am still constantly working on with the boys even.  She is just so thankful and sweet most of the time. 

For any of you reading this and contemplating adoption....pray about it for your family but, I will tell you hands down it is one of the best things we have EVER DONE!  Our lives are forever changed, for the better, by our Charlotte. 

I am sitting here typing this with her asleep in my arms....yes I am spoiling her rotten! :)  and I just can't get over how great our God is... to see how this 1 little girl out of thousands of orphans in China could not only have a loving home here in our little family but, that she would impact our lives and so many others for adoption ...I feel so blessed to be her mother.

Like I read somewhere recently...she might have been labeled "special needs" in China but, we just think she is "special!"

Sending you all much love!
Kendra

You can click on any of these photos to see them larger.

We went in search of buttercups but, didn't find many; they bloomed so early this year. 

We have had fun introducing Charlotte to extended family members.  This is mom & Charlotte with Uncle Leon & Aunt Alivene in Jackson, TN.

                                                                                         Charlotte & Drew

Charlotte met Aunt Ronnie (my moms sister)& just loved her & immediately felt comfortable
with her.  I think the feeling was mutual. :)






The following are some of the first professional pictures we just had done of Charlotte.  She did so well for the photographer!  The photographer is Tammy Byars Holtman who lives in Florence, KY (Cincinnatti area) she grew up here (TN) and was coming back to visit family so it was a special treat for her to photograph Charlotte.

 

This sweet dress above was made by /http://www.redthreadstitches.com/ and she makes some AMAZING things please, go check out her website! :)

About Charlottes clothes:  I may have gone a tad crazy over her clothes but, I am LOVING it!  Alot of her clothes I get at consignment sales (my sister has a large local sale twice a year) and then Gymboree and Zulilly are favorites as well. Some of the brands I like (like Persnickety) are expensive but, I usually wait until the end of the season sale and purchase then. :)

My Favorite Brands for Girl Clothes:

For cute casual clothes:

Gymboree & Mis Tee V Us

For adorable outfits & dresses:

Swanky Baby Vintage

Red Thread Stitches Clothing

Persnikety

Flit & Flitter

Strasburg

Biscotti

What are YOUR favorite brands of clothing for girls?

Our journey to Charlotte

1 year ago today, we found out a little girl in Wuwei, China would become our daughter. This video shows our journey over the last year.   Please stop the music player at the bottom before watching the video.

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