A surprising update! :)

Her orphange decided to go ahead and have her surgery to repair her palate last April and seems to be doing well. J   We didn't know this until THIS MORNING!  We were totally shocked as this is VERY unusual.  They say it was repaired well but, of course that will have to be verified when we get her to a doctor here in the U.S. There are still atleast a couple of surgeries she will need in the future. BUT I am thankful & hopeful that atleast she wont need surgery within a couple months of coming home now. What a blessing! :) 

Below is the updated info we received:

Certificate of Discharge of Patients

People’s Hospital of Gansu Province

Name: Wu Kexia Sex: female Age: 1.5y      Nationality: Han nationality

Native place: Gansu Department: paediatrics

Date of admission: Apr.7 2011                     Date of discharge: Apr.18 2011

The main treatment after admission:

1. Preoperative routine examination: blood and urine routine, liver and kidney function, preoperative cruor time, infectious disease, ECG, and Chest films

2. On Apr.11 2011 she was performed cleft palate repaired under general anesthesia.

3. Postoperative she was given anti-infection treatment of cefathiamidine, hematischesis of snake venom, and detumescence of hexadecadrol. (ewww....snake venom??)

Diagnosis of discharge: congenital cleft right palate Ⅲ degree

Doctor’s advice: keep oral cavity clean; have liquid diet for two weeks and then semiliquid diet for 1.5week.

Physician: XXX

Apr.18 2011

Sealed by: People’s Hospital of Gansu Province



Wu Kexia, female, was born in Nov. 2009, suffered from congenital cleft lip and palate. She has been performed cleft lip repaired in 2010. On Apr.13 2011 she was in department of stomatology of People’s Hospital of Gansu Province again, and was performed cleft palate repaired under general anesthesia; the wound healed well after surgery and she has made obvious improvement in swallowing and pronouncing.

Care Package

Below is a picture of what we sent to Chartlotte this week in a care package.  A cute little pink Chinese outfit. :)

A littly lovey- bunny blanket (isn't it cute?), an electronic toy that teaches animal sounds (hey that is universal huh?!?), a camera and finally a tin of cookies for her foster family.

The bad news is they didn't give her any new pictures of Charlotte BUT, she is hopeful that she will receive some next week when she gets confirmation from the orphange that they received the items. 

If you are going through the adoption process through China I highly recommend using Ann at http://www.redthreadchina.com/  You can pick out things to send on to your child on the website and she is really good about getting updates and most of the time pictures of your child when you send a package.

UPDATE! :)

We got an update with some answers to some questions we had tonight! YIPPEE!  Now hopefully they will also be sending pictures soon. :)

I copied and pasted the information we received in the email, below.

1. Wu ke xia loves to eat rice and noodle ,she does not like to eat vegetable .(sounds like her daddy!)

2. She is not allergic to food ,she does not drink lots of water too.

3、Wu ke xia`s nick name is xia xia .(pronounced she-ah she-ah I believe)

4、Wu Ke Xia use bottle to drink water and milk.

5、She does not need any diapers .(hmmm...it would be awesome if this is actually true.we will have to wait & see!)

6、she likes to take bath ,3-4 times/week.

7.Wu ke xia lives in foster family and sleep with her foster mom looks like we will be co-sleeping! :)

8.Orphanage staff picked out name for wu ke xia .

9.Wu ke xia was found at the gate of her orphanage.

10、height 77cm，weight :12kg。(30inches & 26 lbs with clothes on...IF these measurements are right she has grown 2 inches since May and stayed about the same weight.)

Imagine this....

I read this online yesterday and it really moved me.  I hope you will also take the time to read this.

Also there is a new way to follow our blog.  On the left side you will notice a place to enter your email address.  Every time we write an update to the blog you will be notified via email...thank you blogger for this new feature as it makes it easier to keep up with when there is something new posted.

Much love!
Kendra


Imagine for a moment:

You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fianc?e. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world?the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.

The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.

But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?

You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.

But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?

Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.

Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.

More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.

The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.

You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.

The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.


Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.

You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to sleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.

Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

--Written by Cynthia Hockman-Chupp, analogy courtesy of Dr. Kali Miller

Hanging in there...barely! :)

Well we are well into our wait for final approval (LOA) from China....36 days to be exact! :)  (Not that this not so patient mama is counting! yeah right!)  We are hopeful that we will get good news VERY soon. 

For now, I feel as though I am holding my breath, trying very hard to just get through these days.  Guarding my excitement and emotions because if I didnt, I think I would honestly go crazy and have a good cry at this point.  We have known that she is our daughter for 172 days....and that she is just waiting for us to come bring her home.  Every day that I am missing with her, hurts my heart.  It's really hard to understand or describe unless you have been through this crazy adoption journey yourself.  I don't recommend it for the tenderhearted!  I know this is God's will for our family, He has shown that throughout the process but, it is a much more painful process than I could have ever imagined.  She will definitely be WORTH THE WAIT but, oh how I long to hold her.

The good news is that once we get our LOA we could be traveling in 8 WEEKS! woohoo!  So we are getting close to the end of our journey. PRAISE THE LORD! This mamas heart can't take much more.  So if you think about it this week, pray for us to get LOA soon and for me to be renewed with energy and peace for the end of this process. 

I couldnt take it any longer so we sent her another care package this week.  I sent her a toy, a little lovey blanket, a camera, an outfit and some cookies.  We also sent a list of questions we would like to know the answers to...  Asking things like where she sleeps?, does anything in particular scare her? etc...  The absolute BEST news is that we hope to get new pictures this week as well.  Can't wait to share them with you all.

Thanks so much for your prayers...they mean the most to us right now.

Much love!

A Poem

I read this poem today and thought it was so sweet.  We pray for Charlotte each night and I think about her through out the day imagining what she must be doing.  One day soon she will be here with us and I can't even imagine how it will feel..having this little girl we have prayed for so long!



KISSES IN THE WIND
(The Waiting Child's Lullaby)
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

~ © Pamela Durkota

More Waiting & Attachment Training

What are we doing?  Well we are waiting to hear good news about our Letter of Acceptance.  We are on day 17 of the wait.  Please continue to pray for a SPEEDY Letter of Approval (LOA) from China.  After this step we start preparing to travel. :)  And while we wait, we are doing more training on attachment.  I thought I would share some of the things we have learned over our training in the last few months.
These are the things that are HIGHLY recommend to encourage attachment:

1.  Purposely REGRESS the child.  Feed her a bottle and feed her even if she can feed herself.  Rock her to sleep.  Almost take her back in time to rebuild it up the healthy way and then let her take the lead from there.  She may need to feel like your baby for a few months.

2.  We will encourage DEPENDENCE not independence...especially dependence on me and Jason.

3.  Practice time-in's as opposed to time-outs.  We will put her on our lap or next to us, if she has trouble regulating her emotions. We do expect her to have some frustration due to not being able to communicate with us at first but, they say she will probably pick up English fairly quickly.

4.  All children, who come from these type of circumstances are going to have some attachment issues. All these issues take time, patience, love and meeting their needs hundreds, and hundreds of times, until that trust is finally established.

5.  We will probably be co-sleeping with her if that is what makes her feel most comfortable.  It is also, highly recommended for attachment and bonding.

6.  We imagine even though she was in foster care that not all of her needs were met.  So it may appear that we are "spoiling" her but, it is very important to have her needs met quickly and really ONLY BY US in order to promote bonding.  What I'm talking about has NOTHING to do with spoiling her with material things, or letting her get away with misbehaving though.  It's really just loving on them greatly and obviously with our purpose to meet any needs of hers as far as food or comfort quickly.

7. She won't be going to the church nursery or really anywhere out of our sight for probably the first 6 months atleast.  This is to promote attachment and bonding, not to selfishly keep her to ourselves. :)  Can you imagine having to leave your foster family and all that you have ever known all of a sudden?? She may fear that we will leave her too.  So if you go to church with us...be patient with us all. :)

8.  We won't be allowing many people at all to hold her when we first get home.  That will be very hard for us, because we know ya'll will want to love on her too but, we need her to realize WE are her parents and that WE are where she should come to get comfort and love.

9.  Although Jason and I have spoken very openly about our adoption through-out the process, after she is home, please be aware of what you say or ask in front of her.  She will be a part of our family just like our biological children.  We don't want her treated differently or introduced as our "adopted daughter" and certain topics won't be appropriate in front of her after she is home.  For example, talking about her birth parents or her finding place while she is with us.  She will always know she is special and is adopted but, these 2 things are something that we plan to keep personal and talk about when she is ready.  Imagine trying to talk to a 2 year old about being abandoned.  We don't mind talking about it, just not in front of her.

We have done 12 hours of online courses and read numerous books on attachment and bonding and the things we will implement are ideas from them.  As crazy as some may seem, it is what we and our social worker think will be best for Charlotte.  So, it may seem that we are "spoiling her" or handling a situation differently than you would but, dealing with an almost 2 year old ADOPTED child with a language barrier is not something most of us get to do.  It probably will bu neccessity a very different parenting approach than we had with our boys.  For the first few months we will mainly be focusing on doing all we can to earn her trust and love.

So...pray, pray, pray....Come on LOA!  We are ready to get our girl! :)