Friday, January 21, 2011

Why don't we adopt in the U.S.??

Well this is a question we have been asked and I am sure we will be asked many times.

"Why don't you adopt a child from the U.S.?"

#1-The international adoption process is something we are more comfortable with. I have seen friends adopt and wait for years for a birthmother to choose them.  We both liked the idea that the time frame is estimated and that it is pretty much a guarantee that we will have a child in a year or less.

#2-Because out of 3 families that we know that have adopted, 2 of them had a birthmother change her mind at birth or shortly after they got the child.  I don't think emotionally that I could handle that.  I did talk to an agency about domestic adoption but she admitted that 30% of the time the birthmother changes her mind.

#3-Adoption is something that has been on my heart for years and just with our infertility & not being able to conceive a 4th child did Jason finally come around to the idea.  I never pictured us with a little China girl until this fall. I was at Target with a friend, and I saw a little Asian girl with her mom and 3 older brothers that seemed to be the same ages as my boys. You know me I never meet a stranger so, I talked to them about their adoption and it just put it into perspective.  It's amazing how God can change your mind...I thought adopting a chinese child would single out that child in a negative way and that they would always feel different from the rest of our family. But looking at this family you knew right away that the little girl was adopted and they didnt shy away from talking about adoption....they used it as a positive.  Little Molly was a walking advocate for adoption and an adorable one!  And when her mother said "Molly, tell them to go get a baby" and I heard that sweet little voice say those words, I knew right then and there that an Asian child would really be the perfect fit for our family and I started praying about it.  About 1 month later Jason announced he was ready! :)  God is good!

I know you guys that know Jason also know this but he LOVES kids....everyone calls him the baby snatcher! :)  Every Wednesday he takes the little kids to the nursery for anyone that will let him.  I know he is going to be such a great daddy to a little girl.....he's had lots of practice with Eden & Millie. :)

Much love!

P.S. Getting excited!  I shared info with the online China adoption parent group and they think that there would be no reason our application to adopt won't be approved. :) I am finally letting myself get excited! :)


Lynne said...

One little warning about your husband loving kids ... so does mine and, while he can be quite serious and strict with our boys, he's a big wobbling jelly where the girls are concerned - they have him wrapped around their little fingers! I wonder if you'll have the same situation in your house...! XXX

Amy said...

Hi Kendra,

I'm a new reader to your blog. I am from Canada and also get this question quite often. I always stumble over the answer because I find it very intrusive and accusatory. Some people come right out and talk about the children here looking for families and ask why we are willing to "pay" so much when we could adopt here. I try to explain as best I can but wish I had the courage to tell them it's our business why and we would rather not share our reasons. It is a very personal question that I don't think others should ask.

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